Mark Twain

Όσοι δεν γνωρίζετε τον Mark Twain, μπορείτε να σταματήσετε να διαβάζετε αυτό το blog και να επιστρέψετε στις σπηλίες σας, ούγκ! Όσοι απλά τον έχετε ακουστά, αλλά μέχρι εκεί, παρατήστε το internet και ψάχτε το μεγάλο του συγγραφικό έργο. Όσοι γνωρίζετε ακόμη και το περιστατικό από το οποίο ο Samuel Langhorne Clemens πήρε το ψευδώνυμο Mark Twain, βαδίζετε το σωστό δρόμο ή είστε κάποιος από τους σπαστικούς φίλους μου που δανείζονται τα βιβλία μου και ξεχνούν να τα επιστρέψουν. Παραθέτω κάποια από τα αποφθέγματα του, άνευ μετάφρασης. Σκέφτηκα να τα μεταφράσω, διότι οι Έλληνες έχουν το χαρακτηριστικό να αποκτούν με μεγάλη ευκολία διπλώματα όπως Profieciency, Lower, TOEFL, Palso, σάρα μάρα και το κακό συναπάντημα, αλλά Αγγλικά δεν γνωρίζουν την τύφλα τους. Οι επιλογές μου:
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.

The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels.

If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. It is easier to stay out than get out.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Let us be thankful for the fools.

But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

When in doubt, tell the truth.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.